Waiting for My Girl

Charis's first recital

2011-06-01T16:18:00.000-04:00

Charis had her first recital last week - her Chinese culture class "Rock My Bao Bao" had an end of the year performance along with all the other Chinese culture classes. Her class, which consists of kids 3 and under, virtually all of whom were adopted from China, sang three songs in Chinese. It was cute, but I'm not sure how much actual singing took place from Charis and her classmates. Mommy had to go on stage with Charis and hold her for much of the performance. The funny part was that when the clapping started, she wanted down to go stand with her buddies:)

Grace, charity, beauty, charm and inspiration

2011-05-20T12:59:00.000-04:00

Just found this description of Charis's name:)

Charis \ch(a)-ris\ as a girl's name is pronounced KARE-iss. It is of Greek origin, and the meaning of Charis is "grace". From "kharis". The form Charissa was first used by Spenser for a character in his poem "The Faerie Queene" (16th century). Charis was first used as a given name in the 17th century, probably to symbolize the Christian concept of charity. Mythology: a reference to the Three Graces (Greek "kharites"), symbols of womanly beauty, charm, and inspiration. The graces were Aglais (brilliance), Thalia (flowering), and Euphrosyne (joy).

More Chinese friends on the way

2011-04-28T11:02:00.000-04:00

I wait patiently with my friend Molly for her to bring home her daughter from China. She is at the point of just over 30 "log-in dates" from her date - that could mean a referral this summer or it could mean many months - just no way to know. She's been waiting for nearly 5 years so keep her in your prayers! On a happier note, I just found out that a family from church is in the process of adopting a boy from China. They don't have a referral yet but since they are willing to accept an older child and a boy, they may get a referral fairly quickly. I'm just always so excited to hear of families opening their home to orphans - know what an amazing blessing it is for both the parents and the child, I want everyone to know the joy I have experienced!! I recently saw a video from Love Without Boundries on adopting boys - hmmm, maybe Charis needs a brother??
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5ijggNs2Ask

Mr. Moon

2011-04-28T10:54:00.000-04:00

Charis loves the moon and since we've had practically non-stop rain for a couple of weeks, he's been hiding behing the clouds for a while. Tonight on the way home from Bible class Charis asked where the moon was. When I told her it must be hiding behind the clouds again, she said "Mr. Moon, Mr. Moon, won't you please come out?? It's me, Charis, in the car!" What a sweetie!!

No One Loves Me Like My Mom

2011-03-31T14:16:00.001-04:00

I was blessed to be able to celebrate my Mother's 90th birthday with her this past week. She's been such an wonderful mom and such a great example to me and to many others. All I can think is that if everyone in the world had a mom like mine, the world would be a much better place. Not only is she a wonderful mom, but even in her illness, she is a wonderful Grandma. Charis calls her Mom-mom and absolutely adores her. When we go for a visit, it's not unusual to find Charis in bed with Mom - cuddling, laughing and singing to her Grandma. And if I make Charis do anything she doesn't want to do in front of my mom, Mom-mom trys to convince me to let Charis do whatever she wants:) I love that they love each other so much!!! And not only was it great to be with Mom, but all 5 of my sisters were able to be here for the celebration too. Very rare that all six of us are together so the time was very special!

To Charis’s birthmother

2011-01-25T17:05:00.000-05:00

To Charis’s birth mother,

As Charis’s second birthday approaches, you are on my heart. I know you must be thinking of your daughter. You must wonder where she is and if she is loved and well cared for. I know you miss her. So I would like to thank you for being one of the most courageous women I have never met. You gave life to my child and a daughter to me.

Charis is stunningly beautiful and wildly intelligent. She got that from you.

Every since she became my daughter at five and a half months old, she has had an incredible personality. She’s very curious and on her first doctor visit the doctor even noticed how much she paid attention to detail. She loves her family and friends so much – she sometimes even cries when she doesn’t get to see them as much as she wants. She always wants me to read books to her and she has started pretending to read them to her dolls. She is very brave, sometimes I think too brave when she does dangerous things! She loves to sing and loves for us to sing song together. We go to a class for little ones where we sing songs in Chinese. I want her to love the music from China as much as she does the music here.

No words can completely describe what you have done for me. I’ve always known that God had planned for me to be a mother, but I didn’t know he would use a woman from the other side of the world to give me a daughter. You could have made so many other choices, and you were probably encouraged by others to make those choices, but you loved her enough to carry her for nine months and to make sure she was well cared for after she was born.

I know it was the most difficult decision you have ever made. I have heard that other birth mothers say it is not a decision you make once, but one you have to make every day. Your gift has given me the opportunity to feel the same unconditional love you felt for your baby. I promise you that not only will she always be unconditionally loved by me, but she will also always know the unconditional love of a large family and many close friends. Charis knows how much I appreciate you; we talk about you and pray for you often.

I am so grateful to you for giving me the chance to be a mom. I cannot imagine a greater sacrifice to make or greater blessing to receive. May God bless you always for the selfless sacrifice you made.

Lori

Touching My Heart

2011-01-06T22:16:00.000-05:00

My girl is on a mission to touch my heart these days I guess. The other day she initiated her first "Charis-led" prayer. After we said our typical good night prayer, she said "Charis pray" and proceeded to say "Dear God (several words I didn't understand) princess (more words) mommy (more words) All done!" Then tonight as I was rocking her before bedtime and singing her the same song I have sung to her every night since she's been home (I love you, God loves you, and that's the way it's gonna be), I hear this little voice chiming in "I love you and God loves you....". Well she didn't get all the words right but she got the tune and most of the words. What a sweetie!!! Guess all this sweetness is to make up for the roaring into the twos that she's doing:)

Winter 2010

2010-12-28T15:25:00.000-05:00

November and December have been kind of wild months for us. On Nov. 12th we flew to St. Pete Beach, FL to meet up with 2 of the other families in our China travel group. We had a great long weekend at the beach with the Corless and Roebuck families. We were really glad Jill went with us! It was so great to see how well the girls were all doing - we laughed about how the girls are still so much like they were when we first met them. Thea is still the leader of the pack, ready to boldly go anywhere and to oversee whatever activity may be happening; Emma is the artsy, sensitive girl who also has a wild side (she's the only one brave enough to actually sit in a pirates lap!) and Charis just loves to be with people and is pretty easy going as long as things go her way! And they all three fit so perfectly in their own families! What beautiful girls we are blessed with - or as my friend Jackie likes to say "we won the baby lottery!".

After we left St. Pete Beach, Jill, Charis and I went on to St. Augustine to spend a week at Jill's in-laws Florida home. We had a great time - Charis especially loved the turtles. She had her first carousel ride and loved looking for shells at the beach. But while we were there I had an incident with my eye which I later found out resulted in a detached retina. The rest of November and most of December I ended up being off work and mostly bed ridden trying to recover from the detached retina. Finally on Dec. 17th, I was allowed up out of bed and finally back to driving on Dec. 23rd. Don't know what I would have done without my very supportive family - Jill and Jane and their families took care of both Charis and I for several weeks. But I'm back to work now and hopefully on the mend permanently. Charis thought it was great fun to live with Aunt Jill and Aunt Jane for a while and I became a big fan of "House Hunters International".

Our second Christmas together was wonderful despite not being able to participate in very few pre-Christmas festivities or shopping. We did get to have our annual get together with her friends Anna and Sasha. Charis was a little leary of the Santa, but was very interested in the whole idea of reindeer. She mostly just loved being with her family and of course loved the presents.

As the beginning of the new year approaches my mind once again turns to Charis's birth mother. Two years ago she was 8 months pregnant with my daughter. I imagine she wonders about her and I hope she somehow knows that Charis is in a family who loves and cares for her very much.

Ramblings On Adoption

2010-11-09T22:45:00.001-05:00

"Adoption is a miracle. I don't mean just that it's amazing, terrific, and a wonderful thing to do. I mean that it is, as the dictionary says, "a surprising and welcome event that is not explicable by natural or scientific laws and is therefore considered to be the work of divine agency." From Scott Simon's "Baby We Were Meant For Each Other" Just finished this book and am in the process of reading "Silent Tears" by Kay Bratt. What two different perspectives on being the mother of this beautiful daughter. Simon's book celebrates the wonder and joy of adopting a child; Bratt's is giving me a peek into what Charis's life might have been had she not become my daughter. Both are helpful; both bring out incredibly strong emotions. And I think of all the other adoptive families who are part of my life - when I started thinking of each of them I was amazed how many I know. And I wonder so much about where Charis, Anna, Hannah S., Abby, Hannah H., Annie, Keziah, Issac, Justice, Chloe, Sydney, Allison, Olivia, Riley and all the other beautiful children I haven't named would be if they had not been adopted. And of all their parents - and extended families and friends - who love them so desperately - how much we all would have missed out on if these children were not part of our lives. And thinking of these children and their families, I wonder again - and count my blessings - about how it is that adoption came to be so commonplace in our culture. Charis recently went to Bible class while visiting my sister in a small rural Appalachian town. In her Bible class were two other adopted children - all three born on different continents and all three loved and cherished not only by their parents, but by large extended families. And again a wonder to me - both of the other children are part of families I have known for many years if not all my life. God is so good.

Pictures from fall 2010

2010-10-01T10:37:00.000-04:00

Legacy of an Adopted Child

2010-10-01T10:29:00.003-04:00

Once there were two women who never knew each other.
One you do not remember, the other you call mother.
Two different lives, shaped to make your one...
One became your guiding star, the other became your sun.
The first gave you life and the second taught you to live it.
The first gave you a need for love, and the second was there to give it.
One gave you a nationality, the other gave you a name.
One gave you a seed of talent, the other gave you an aim.
One gave you emotions, the other calmed your fears.
One saw your first sweet smile, the other dried your tears.
One gave you up ... that's all she could do.
The other prayed for a child and God led her straight to you.
And now you ask me, through your fears,
the age old question unanswered throughout the years...
Heredity or environment, which are you the product of?
Neither, my darling, neither.
Just two different kinds of love.

19 months old!

2010-09-01T22:05:00.000-04:00

Charis is no longer a baby - she's a full fledged toddler these days. Running, climbing, sliding, swinging - you name it! And talking up a storm - I can't believe all the words she knows. Tonight we read "I Love You Crazy Cakes" and at the end of the book where the mom and baby are snuggling with their eyes closed she said "sad!". I tried to tell her they were not sad but sleepy but she kept insisting on sad! It was the first time she really sat and listened to that book - makes me wonder if she has any memory of our Crazy Cakes story. It really is hard to imagine my life without this perfect and wonderful little girl. Not only does she light up my life, she brings so much joy to my Mom, my sisters and the rest of my family and friends. What a blessing she is!!!

Mother's Day

2010-05-14T16:15:00.000-04:00

What can I say - after waiting all my life, I finally celebrated Mother's Day as a mother. What an amazing feeling to spend the day with my Mother, my daughter and the rest of my family.

Zoo picture

2010-05-14T16:12:00.001-04:00

What can I say - my daughter is cool!

2010-05-12T13:14:00.000-04:00

All children come from God. For some the journey home just takes a little longer.

Charis and her Grandma

2010-04-19T11:56:00.000-04:00

I just love that my two favorite people in all the world adore each other. When we go to Mom's house, Charis runs through the house saying "ma-ma" (her word for Grandma). And she loves to kiss on Mom and cuddle with her. And Mom loves it too - Charis can get a smile out of her when no one else can.

Spring is here!

2010-04-06T22:40:00.000-04:00

Well, I've been told that the winter pictures no longer cut it and I need to post spring pictures so here they are!!! Charis is 14 months old now and getting so grown up! Yesterday as I was leaving her at day care she said "bye ma"! My baby made a sentence! We've enjoyed the zoo and park with our friends, had Easter with Aunt Jill, Alex, Dan and another friend and celebrated Sasha's 1st birtday with her. We also spent some time at a friend's farm in Ross County taking pictures with her spring flowers.

Not a Snow Bunny!

2010-02-09T22:37:00.000-05:00

We had a foot of snow over the weekend, so Mommy dressed Charis up in her snowsuit and thought we'd go make a snowman! She didn't seem to mind be bundled up in the snowsuit or putting on her ladybug boots over the snowsuit. And it was fine to have Mommy carry you around in the snow. However, she did NOT want to be put down in the snow! She was in the snow only long enough for Mommy to snap the picture and recovered almost immediately once Mommy picked her back up!

Charis's 1st Birthday!!!

2010-02-09T22:23:00.004-05:00

Charis had two first birthday parties!!! One at Grandma's and one with her friends. Both were a blast!!!!

How Love Really Works

2010-02-09T22:18:00.003-05:00

Our children are not ours because they share our genes...
they are ours because we have had the audacity to envision them.
That, at the end of the day...or long sleepless night, is how love really works.

--- Unknown

Christmas Pictures

2010-01-21T09:17:00.002-05:00

We had Miss Kathy take some photos of Charis for her first Christmas. Just now getting around to posting some! I'm also including some candid shots from Christmas time.

A Year Ago

2010-01-21T09:13:00.000-05:00

As the 6 month anniversary of our Gotcha Day and Charis's first birthday are quickly approaching, I have been thinking so much of Charis's birth mother. Wondering what she was thinking this time last year and wondering how she is feeling now; praying that she somehow might know how loved, safe and happy her little Yong Xiao Shun is now. I know Charis will surely wonder these things too some day. Please Lord, give the the wisdom and the words to say the right things to her when that time comes.

Charis learning to walk

2010-01-06T23:07:00.000-05:00

Pictures from Sprint: View Message

Merry Christmas

2009-12-15T15:27:00.002-05:00

I am thanking God that my daughter is home for Christmas and thinking of all the little girls in China and all the mommys and daddys everywhere who don't yet have their daughters home with them.

Merry Christmas by Third Day

There's a little girl trembling on a cold December morn
Crying for momma's arms
At an orphanage just outside a little China town
There the forgotten are

But half a world away I hang the stockings by the fire
And dream about the day when I can finally call you mine

It's Christmas time again but you're not home
Your family is here and yet you're somewhere else alone
And so tonight I pray that God will come and hold you in his arms
And tell you from my heart I wish you Merry Christmas

As I hang the tinsel on the tree and watch the twinkling lights
I'm warmed by the fire's glow
Outside the children tumble in a wonderland of white,
Make angels in the snow

But half a world away you try your best to fight the tears
And hope that heaven's angels come to carry you here

It's Christmas time again but you're not home
Your family is here and yet you're somewhere else alone
And so tonight I pray that God will come and hold you in his arms
And tell you from my heart I wish you Merry Christmas

Christmas is a time to celebrate the holy child
And we celebrate his perfect gift of love
He came to earth to give his life
And prepare a place for us
So we could have a home with him above

It's Christmas time again and now you're home
Your family is here so you will never be alone
So tonight before you go to sleep, I'll hold you in my arms
And I'll tell you from my heart, and I'll you from my heart
I wish you Merry Christmas

Today I Kissed an Angel

2009-12-04T09:59:00.002-05:00

Today I kissed an angel, I knew it from the start
The first time my angel smiled at me, I gave away my heart
Today I kissed an angel, this angel child of mine
Though not of my creation, my child by God's design
Today I kissed an angel, my heart is dancing wild,
A family by a miracle, blessed by this angel child.
Author Unknown

Wonderful presents

2009-11-05T16:29:00.003-05:00

We have had so many wonderful presents and words of love and support since we came home. Several folks have made handmade (and extra special) gifts for Charis - afgans and throws, quilts, personalized items and a sweater and matching hat! We know these were all made with love and we will cherish them for years to come!

Halloween Fun

2009-11-05T16:22:00.003-05:00

We made another trip to Arkansas the weekend of Halloween for a reunion with Mommy's college friends from OEGE and King's Men. It was so good to see everyone - how amazing to see these folks that hadn't been together in 25+ years and were still so happy to spend time together.

The Halloween weekend brought lots of fun for Charis too. Since it was also her cousin Avery's 3rd birthday, we got to go to Avery's princess party. Avery got a "castle" as a present from her grandparents, so Avery and Charis had a lot of fun playing in the castle. They had face painting at the party so it was another first for Charis - a pumpkin on the cheek! And what fun is Halloween without dressing up? Of course, the hood part of the ladybug costume was NOT her favorite thing.

Fall 2009

2009-10-12T23:50:00.006-04:00

We've been enjoying the beginning of fall in Ohio, although it has come upon us quickly! We stopped by Pumpkinaloza at Lynd's Fruit Farm with our friends Jackie and Anna and hiked at Highbanks Metro Park with our friend Dan. We had a great time hiking for two hours but who knew it would be so exhausting??? Thanks Dan for carrying Charis while we hiked so we didn't have to stick to the stroller friendly paths! While we love the fall, it also means Lori will be returning to work soon. These weeks together have been so precious to us, but we knew it wouldn't last forever. We're looking forward to doing Boo at the Zoo with Anna, Sasha and Hannah in a couple of weeks!

A Trip to Arkansas

2009-09-22T22:20:00.006-04:00

We took our first trip - to visit our family in Arkansas. We got to visit with our family - Charis really loved hanging out with her cousins Avery (almost 3), Brayden (3 1/2) and Robby (6). We got to watch Robby and Brayden show their pig Max at the White County Fair. They both did great but the fair was exhausting! Cousin Annie had to carry a sleeping Charis for a while. Avery entertained Charis with her storytelling and letting her play in her room. We visited Elizabeth at work and she let Charis practice her keyboard skills. There were lots of first while we were gone. Charis started crawling - but only backwards so far. She also started clapping - it's so cute! After Aunt Sharen had a coughing spell, Charis learned to "fake" cough. And there's also a new tooth! And another first, she decided one day while we were visiting the Roses to empty her diaper bag. What a big girl!

September

2009-09-22T22:14:00.004-04:00

We've had a busy September. We went to a Labor Day cookout at Aunt Jill's house - Charis had fun playing with Grandma and getting to know Mattie the dog.

Fun Shots of My Girl

2009-09-03T23:14:00.008-04:00

I was going through some of my pictures and wanted to share a couple of fun shots I have taken. Charis has crazy hair - two cowlicks in back, two in front and it's much longer on the sides than in the back. It was just begging for pigtails so here she is!

Cousin Avery has been very sweet to lend Charis some nice clothes, toys and other necessities. This dress is one Avery lent us and we love it, but we found out that big dresses and carseats don't really mix very well!

Pictures

2009-09-03T23:06:00.003-04:00

We had professional pictures taken of Charis (and some with her mom!) last week. The photographer was really sweet but Charis isn't very into performing on demand and wouldn't give up too many big grins. But she got some good shots anyway. We've been home now a little over a month and Charis just turned 7 months old. I know people always say this about babies, but I can't believe how much she's changed already! She's sitting up on her own really well now and has two teeth (sharp little guys too!). She has decided that she wants to put off going to sleep until she can't stand it any longer too - why do babies do that????? We've been loving the beautiful weather and went on a long walk with our friends Terri and Gianna this morning at Hoover Dam. Then Aunt Jane and Cousin Erin babysat while I had to head off to the dentist.

Thanks to everyone for your love and support

2009-08-24T22:35:00.004-04:00

My heart is so full tonight. Every day I find out about more people who have been praying for Charis and I. There are so many who have already done so much for us - my dear friends who not only stayed up until the wee hours of the morning to greet us when we came back from China, but also had my living room filled with bottles, clothes and diapers for a 6 month old and food in the fridge for mom! For my family, particularly my sisters and their families, who are so excited to have this new little one to love. For everyone at work who has been so supportive and are working so hard to keep things going in a very stressful work situation. For those who have given us and are planning to give us presents and for all the folks who have generously lent or given us baby items they're not using. Folks at work and my "adoption friends" have already given us showers, a church shower is planned for this coming Sunday, my close friends are planning a somewhat smaller gathering and friends from the Spring Road congregation are also planning to have a celebrations with us. And then I found out today that several families from the McCrory, AR congregation, where I worshipped over 20 years ago, have gifts for Charis. Again, my heart is so full. This little girl who never had a mother, an extended family, a church family or so many friends who love her and are praying for her, has all of those now. A simple thank you seems so insufficient, but thank you.

Catching up

2009-08-21T23:08:00.005-04:00

On Sunday, Charis and I will have been a family for one month. In some ways it seems like it's only been a few days - like when there is something wrong and I have no idea what it is - and some days it seems like we've been together for a very long time - like when she gives me that gorgeous grin when we're talking in bed in the morning. She got her first tooth this week. I've known that teeth were coming and she loves me to rub her gums (with a cloth diaper). But on Tuesday, I felt something sharp and sure enough, there it was on the bottom! I think it won't be long before she has a few more too. The biggest accomplishment of the past week has been her ability to wake up in her room and be comfortable and happy there. For the first couple of weeks, she cried every time she was alone in her room. While three weeks seems like a long time, it's all still very new to her. But the past few days, I often hear her playing and talking to the crib toys long before she every lets out a cry to let me know she's ready for me to come rescue her.

We've spent a lot of time at the park with our friends the last couple of weeks. Charis is as likely to fall asleep while we're strolling as she is to check out nature, but it's good either way. Today we went to a local park that has a creek where children regularly play in it. Our friend Anna, who is one and is game for anything, was having a great time playing in the creek so we decided to try it too. I dipped her litte feet in and she LOVED it - she wanted me to keep doing it and keep curling her little toes up in the sand. I think she may give Anna a run for her money. But we also have our good friend Sasha we can hang with when we are feeling a little more mellow - at least until they both can walk:)

Home

2009-08-08T06:19:00.005-04:00

For those who may not know, things in China did not exactly work out as I had planned. The day we met Chen Jia Bin (Claire), it was very evident she had multiple medical and developmental problems. She's a beautiful and sweet little girl and Jill and I came to love her dearly in the two and a half days she was with us. But, as a dear friend reminded me, our plan B is often God's plan A all along. After much heartache and consultation with both American and Chinese medical professionals, I knew I could not bring her home. But God's hand was evident to everyone involved when I got a referral for Yong Xiao Shun (Charis) the next day and was able to adopt her the day after. We arrived home on July 31st after a long and grueling trip that included a 14 1/2 hour flight from Shanghai to Newark, NJ. But the verse that keeps playing over and over in my head is "Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen." Ephesians 3:20-21 I would have never even asked to be the mother of a 5 1/2 month old daughter from China, because according to all that I know about Chinese adoptions, that would not be possible. God has been glorified in the recognition of His work in this adoption.

We've been home a week now - what a trip the last three weeks has been. I'm going to post info and pictures about the trip, but haven't had time to put it all down yet. Charis is doing well and has slept through the night the last two nights. We've been to visit grandma (who thinks she's quite special!)and had our first bath at home. We've had our first trip to the pediatrician (and our first blood draw - ouch!). We've had several visitors and Aunt Sharen was so gracious to stay with us the first few days - I am so grateful to have sisters who are so excited about having a new niece. After all, the last nephew was 19 years ago!!! And I'm also grateful to those who have shared their baby items with us - thank you Kristen and Avery, Jackie and Anna, Terri and Gianna, Connie and Hannah and others!

China Here We Come!!!

2009-07-15T16:47:00.002-04:00

Since I just learned that my 2 year old niece is now referring to Claire as "China", that title has a double meaning. I can't believe it's finally here - we leave for China early tomorrow morning. I got a phone call today telling me we'd be getting the babies at 3:00pm on Monday, July 20th. Our "Gotcha Day". My friends who are adopted have told me that their "Gotcha Day" is more important to them than their birthdays. I made the mistake of watching "China's Lost Girls" with a friend last night. By the end of the show my heart was racing - and I cried when they got their babies. I can't believe that's me on MONDAY!!! Pray that our trip goes smoothly (and we're not quarantined!) and that the transition goes well for Claire.

4 More Days!

2009-07-11T23:10:00.001-04:00

Four more days until I leave for China! There's still a lot to do and Claire won't be coming home to a perfect house - oh well! She'll come home to a place where she's loved and that's what matters. Everyone is so excited, including Grandma!!

China Schedule

2009-07-08T14:51:00.005-04:00

We just received our in country schedule for China. Gotcha Day is Monday, July 20th. My heart is so full - I just can't believe it's really happening. I look at her sweet worried face in the photos and I still have a hard time imagining her in my arms. And I can't help but think about how she will be leaving everyone and everything she knows. Please pray for a safe trip for all who are traveling and for a smooth transition for both me and Claire.

Before we meet our babies, we'll go to Tian An Men Square, the Forbidden City and hike on the Great Wall at the Juyongguan section pictured here. After Gotcha Day, we'll have lots of appointments (China Civil Affairs office, medical checkup for the babies, US consulate) but we're also scheduled to visit the Provincial Museum and the Yuelu Ancient Academy Center. A trip to the Guangzhou Zoo is also on the schedule (yes, they have a panda!). Claire, we're coming!!!!

Travel Letter

2009-07-03T19:28:00.001-04:00

Wow - I got my travel letter today. Basically a letter from the Chinese government saying that I shouldcome get Claire (Chen Jia Bin)in the next 90 days. Wow - I'm really gonna be a mom.

A Quilt for Claire

2009-07-03T09:14:00.002-04:00

My sister Susan has the sweetest family. Her sister-in-laws (whom I have known since I was a teenager) all got together and made Claire a quilt. Not easy since they live in Arizona, Michigan and Ohio! Thank you Alice, Andrea, Mary and Marilyn!! Claire and I will treasure the quilt and your love in the years to come!

Presents for Claire

2009-07-03T09:08:00.004-04:00

The shower from my friends at work was so fun! And Claire got lots of nice things! I was really glad two of my sisters (Jane who lives in Ohio and my sister Share who was visiting from Arkansas) along with my Mom were able to come to the shower. The shower was at Joey Chang's, a Chinese resturant, so not only did we have a good time, we had great food too! One special gift was the hand made wall box from my boss, Jo.

Wow - things are happening fast!!!

2009-07-01T14:04:00.002-04:00

I just found out today that we have confirmed travel approval and will be leaving July 16th. Only 2 weeks away!! And in 18 days I'll have Claire in my arms!!!

My sweet friends from work had a shower for me at a Chinese resturant last night - it was a lot of fun and Claire got lots of neat gifts!! Thanks to everyone for such a special evening!!

Travel Approval!!!!!!

2009-06-26T12:51:00.001-04:00

We just recieved word that we have travel approval!!!! Our agency is requesting our Consulate Date right now. It will be about one week before we hear anything from the US Consulate. The agency must hear from them before we can proceed any further. Once we hear from them we'll start getting our airline tickets!!! New ESTIMATED travel dates are: Depart the USA on July 16 and return to the USA on July 30, 2009.

Birthday Presents

2009-06-25T06:07:00.002-04:00

It's so wonderful to know that so many people are so anxious for Claire to come home! Her cousins and friends have already bought her some birthday presents! Thanks everyone for remembering her on her birthday and for keeping her in your prayers!

Visas!!!!!

2009-06-22T22:24:00.001-04:00

Our visas came in the mail today!!! It's finally starting to sink in that we're really going to China - and I'm really coming home with my daughter!!!

Claire's 1st Birthday

2009-06-19T12:50:00.007-04:00

I'm feeling a little sad that Claire will turn one on Sunday and I won't be with her. I did send a package and pray that she has the items I sent. Happy Birthday sweet baby! It won't be long now!! Today we celebrated her cousin Adam's 26th birthday, so I brought a cake for Claire too. It's already the 21st in China, so it is her birthday where she is. I stopped by Sam's Club to pick up a small cake and there it was, the perfect birthday cake - a ladybug!!! Your family is thinking of you and wishing we were with you sweetie!

While She Waits

2009-06-16T08:21:00.002-04:00

A couple who were at the Chen Zhou CWI this past weekend posted on a listserv about their trip. They said "For anyone waiting for their child please know that the staff at the SWI is taking good care of everyone." It's truely comforting to know she's in good hands until she can be with her family.

Thanks Nan-Man!

2009-06-15T20:12:00.002-04:00

My boss's sweet little grandson,Nathaniel,decided to share some of the fun toys he has outgrown with Claire! Thanks a bunch Nan-man!!! Grandma had a great time showing me how they all worked. I can't wait until Claire gets home so we can play with all this fun stuff!!!

A Shower!

2009-06-15T20:03:00.004-04:00

I'm looking forward to the shower my friends for work are giving me. My sweet boss handmade these great invitations. Now if I can just figure out where to store the presents once I get them home!! The shower's being held at a Chinese resturant - can't wait to see what they have planned!!

2009-06-14T15:09:00.001-04:00

2009-06-14T15:06:00.000-04:00

The Panic is Setting In!

2009-06-11T16:59:00.002-04:00

I'm starting to get a little paniced. So much to do and only 6 weeks left to do it! And I'm praying the swine flu situation won't impact our travel dates. While I'm paniced about all I have to do, I'm also desperate to have my daughter home! I have a shower scheduled for June 30th with the folks from work - should be fun. My "adoption" friends had a travel shower for me several weeks ago - they gave me lots of practial stuff for both Claire and me to take on the trip. And a great diaper backpack to put it all in! It's kind of hard to anticipate what all I might need when she gets home. I do know I have lots of clothes already - picking up bargains for nearly 4 years filled up her closet pretty well and her new friends-to-be Hannah and Anna have been kind enough to share clothes they've outgrown.

Family resemblence

2009-06-04T21:44:00.005-04:00

I've been told by my family that my daughter looks like me and that she looks like my great-niece Avery. Anybody buying it?

Travel plans

2009-06-01T20:03:00.002-04:00

I just finished a two and a half hour phone call with A Helping Hand talking about the travel. Right now, we have to do our visa applications. And make lots of lists and get tons of things done before there's a toddler living in my house!

2009-05-29T22:19:00.002-04:00

From ages past no one has heard, no ear has perceived, no eye has seen any God besides you, who works for those who wait for him. Isaiah 64:4

After much agonizing, I've decided on a name - Claire Jia Ellen Deacon. Jia means beautiful - and she is.

When is she coming home?

2009-05-28T14:27:00.004-04:00

I talked to my agency to day and their best guess of when we will travel is that we will leave July 23rd. We'd be there a couple of days and then "Gotcha Day" would be July 26th. We'd travel home on August 5th or 6th. I may be holding my baby in less than two months!!! There will be 6 families traveling together - I'm the only single in the group:) Glad Jill's going with me!

Where is she now?

2009-05-28T14:09:00.002-04:00

JiaBin is living in the Chenzhou Social Welfare Institute. Chenzhou SWI is an orphanage located in Hunan, China. It is about a 4 hour drive away from the city of Changsha, Hunan. Chenzhou SWI is actually a residence of not only over a hundred children ages 0-13, but they also have a part in the orphanage for the elderly!

Chenzhou is situated at the juncture of Hunan and Guangdong provinces at the foot of Qitianling Hill of the Nanling Mountain Range. Places of interest, natural scenic spots, ancient relics and buildings make for over 100 tourism spots in the city. The major ones are the Suxian Hill, the Wanhuayan the Dongjiang Lake and the Wugai Mountain Hunting Field.
In the beginning of 2008, Chenzhou was seriously struck by a freezing rain and snow disaster.

The areas of interest in this region include:万华岩（underground cave, translated to Magnificent rocks) 五盖山,Wugai Mountain Hunting Field, 苏仙岭,Suxian Hill and 东江湖,Dongjiang Lake.
苏仙岭,Suxian Hill It is located about 1.5 km east of Chenzhou, covering 15 square km. Beautiful peaks and dense forests give the place the reputation of being "the 18th blessed land in China".
五盖山,Wugai Mountain Hunting Field Situated 30 km away from Chenzhou it has over 8,000 hectares of land and can offer for hunters many kinds of animals which are permitted to be hunted. Hotels and campsites are available. It is the only hunting field in southern China.
东江湖,Dongjiang Lake Located in Zixing, it covers an area of 160 square km and can contain 8.12 billion cubic meters of water, equaling half of the Dongting Lake. Dongjiang Lake is wide and misty, dotted with islets and docks. Around it mountains rise and fall and embrace new small villages, forming a unique picture of mountains and water.

Chenzhou is really pronounced "chin joe". Same thing with Guangzhou. It is not "guang zow" but "guang joe".

More info on my girl

2009-05-28T13:44:00.005-04:00

I got her translated medical information today. It looks great to my untrained eye and to the biased eye of my sister the pediatric nurse (who said "just go get that baby!"). I'm waiting to hear back from a developmental pediatrician work works here at ODH. One of the items that stood out to me on the report was the statement that she "would stop crying when being held and talk with her or give her something to eat." Yep, she's my kid:)

Chenzhou SWI

2009-05-27T15:50:00.003-04:00

There is a video of the Chenzhou SWI where Chen Jia Bin is living on youtube. It looks like a nice place:)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4X0Xzo2UPr4

She's here!!!!!!!!!!

2009-05-21T15:01:00.007-04:00

I got the call at 12:21pm on May 21, 2009 while I was having lunch with my nieces that I'm a MOM!!!!!!!!

Her name is Chen Jia Bin
DOB 6/21/2008 11 months
Length is 66 cm = 25.93 inches
Weight is 7 kg = 15.4 lbs
Medical was done in 3/4/2009
Institutionalized in Chenzhou, CWI of Hunan Province
I can't believe this day has arrived!!!!!!!!

3 Years and Counting

2009-03-14T17:05:00.003-04:00

Today is the 3rd anniversary of my LID (log in date - the day China acknowledged my paperwork) for my adoption from China. Three years + is a very long time to be waiting for a child. But today rumors were posted on the internet that next month may be a "big" month - meaning there is a serious chance I'll get my referral in April if the rumor is correct. It's been so long that it's still a little scary to hope it's actually going to happen soon. If the rumor is true - I could very well be a mom before my next birthday!!!

The Matching Room

2009-03-03T13:00:00.005-05:00

Since Chinese adoption workers will soon be deciding who you new niece, cousin, or friend is going to be, I thought folks might like to know how they decide which baby goes with which family - here's some info modified from the China Adopt Talk wed site.

How the Matching Room works
First, they review the baby dossiers and make sure there are no issues with them. We are told that they then count up all of the baby dossiers that are eligible for matching that month and then look to see how far this stack will go in the parent dossiers without sending out a partial day, and they pull all of those parent files. That is the likely cut-off date. Sometimes something happens and they don't get this far. Sometimes something happens and they get farther.

Next they match orphanages up with agencies. This orphanage has six babies, this agency has six families. These two orphanages are in the same province and have a total of 12 babies, this agency has 12 families. When they are through with this is when (I believe) some agencies start to get information about the cut-off date. Or at least it is when they used to start getting information.

And then they start matching individual babies to individual families. The next question that comes up is generally how the matchers match families and babies. I’ve heard from several people who have had the opportunity to speak with someone who works in the matching room. The various conversations seem to all agree that they first look for something that stands out: a matching birthday, a baby who looks a lot like a parent, or a baby who likes music and a parent who teaches music. Several matching people have stated they match by bone structure of the baby’s face and the parent’s faces (this is why they need our passport photos, so they can compare our mug shot with the baby’s mug shot). Some have stated that they used Chinese astrology, also. Once they’ve matched the obvious matches they then start to look at things like age of child requested. The age requested is not a priority for them, they feel they are matching families and not filling orders.

Lori's comments: But we all know Who really makes the decisions - and I'm trusting in Him to bring my daughter to me at last. I've met so many families who know their daughter was the perfect match - Jenny insists Abbey is more like her than her biological son and Allison Grace looks so much like Meredith I can't believe it! He knows who are daughters are and I know He'll make sure we're together.

Still Waiting

2009-02-25T12:55:00.002-05:00

Well, it actually looks like I might, just possibly, be a mom by the end of the summer. We're quickly coming up on the 3 year anniversary of my Log In Date (LID). The two girls that I got to know at the beginning of this process have moved on to other ways of building their families. Jackie adopted domestically last summer (and has an adorable 7 month old who loves her "aunt" Lori!) and Susan married and is expecting her bio daughter soon (I'm the back-up ride to the hospital). Strangely enough, we may all become mothers in the same year anyway - just 3 different ways! I am getting a little antsy - checking the rumor site often (which I have never done) and trying to think about what it means at work while I'm off for 12+ weeks. I still have not been very open about it at work - a few close friends know and of course, my bosses know. Depending on how far the next referrals go, I may be making an "offical" announcement soon. Soooo much to think about!!!

Holidays 2008

2008-12-23T10:56:00.003-05:00

The holiday season is here - and while I celebrate the joy of the season, my heart aches for the children who should be here but who are not. For Tanner and Brooklyn who are celebrating with the One we honor and for my daughter who is half a world away. Tanner and Brookie know how much their family loves and misses them. But my daughter (as Tanner always said "my Chinese cousin") doesn't know yet that there is a huge loving family waiting for her. Lord, please let her know this time next year how much not only her mother, but her grandmother, her aunts, uncles, cousins and those other "aunties and uncles" who can't wait for her arrival love her.

O God of All Children

2008-12-10T07:56:00.003-05:00

O God of all the children of Somalia, Sarajevo,
South Africa and South Carolina
Of Albania, Alabama, Bosnia, and Boston,
Of Cracow and Cairo, Chicago and Croatia,
Help us to love and respect and protect them all.

O God of Black and Brown and White and Albino children
and those all mixed together,
Of children who are rich and poor and in between,
Of children who speak English and Spanish and Russian and Hmong
and languages our ears cannot discern,
Help us to love and respect and protect them all.

O God of the child prodigy and the child prostitute,
of the child of rapture and the child of rape,
Of runaway or thrown -away children who struggle
every day without parent or place or friend or future,
Help us to love and respect and protect them all.

O God of children who can walk and talk and hear
and see and sing and dance and jump and
play and of children who wish they could but can't,
Of children who are loved and unloved, wanted and unwanted,
Help us to love and respect and protect them all.

O God of beggar, beaten, abused, neglected,
homeless, AIDS, drug, and hunger-ravaged children,
Of children who are emotionally and physically and mentally fragile,
and of children who rebel and ridicule, torment and taunt,
Help us to love and respect and protect them all.

O God of children of destiny and of despair, of war
and of peace,
Of disfigured, diseased, and dying children,
Of children without hope and of children with hope
to spare and to share,
Help us to love and respect and protect them all.

from
GUIDE MY FEET
Prayers and Meditations on
Loving and Working for Children
by Marian Wright Edelman

1001 Days since LID

2008-12-09T13:39:00.004-05:00

It's now been 1001 days since the Chinese government recognized that they had recieved my paperwork for an adoption. And that's not counting the 9 months of waiting for a single's slot and doing paperwork that preceeded my log in date. And because referrals are still so slow in coming, it will likely be several more months before I get my referral. That's a really long time to wait.

I babysat last night for my friend's 3 year old daughter and son who were both born in China. Why does it make the wait harder? Seems like it should make me more sure the wait is worth it. I struggle to remember and believe that His timing is perfect....

2008-11-21T09:22:00.000-05:00

Psalm 34:4 - I sought the Lord, and he answered me; he delivered me from all my fears.

Brave and Courageous

2008-11-10T15:39:00.002-05:00

Psalms 27:14 tells us to "Wait patiently for the LORD. Be brave and courageous. Yes, wait patiently for the LORD." I'm thinking today of what it means to brave and courageous while I endure this wait that feels as if it may never end. Maybe He's talking about being brave enough to believe that He still wants me to be a mother; and to be courageous to go on even when giving up seems the sensible thing to do.

Still waiting

2008-11-07T09:21:00.003-05:00

I counted up how long I've been waiting, realized it's been nearly a thousand days and got really depressed. And that does not include the time from July 2005 when I first submitted an application, from November when I got accepted by my agency (having to wait for a "spot" as a single) and on to March 2006 when my paperwork finally got logged in. I guess I should focus on the fact that there are only 25 log in dates before mine....that may easily be 5-6 more months before a referral, but I surely will bring my daugther home before next summer.

The children in Arkansas have been placed with a married couple who live in Arkansas. The foster family has major concerns about the family they were placed with, but I'm praying that this couple loves parenting those little ones like I would have.

Waiting for my girl

2008-11-07T09:17:00.000-05:00

Custom Countdowns & MySpace Layouts

Maybe the end, or the beginning, is in sight

2008-10-02T17:08:00.004-04:00

I've finally gotten to the place where there is only 27 more log in dates until MY log in date. That means that there are 27 days of dossiers from those seeking to adopt Chinese children that will be matched with children before MY dossier is matched with a child. This may mean I'll get a referral by the end of 2008 or early 2009, but there are not guarentees. And the children in Arkansas are still waiting to be offically "adoptable". This could happen as early as November. I'm still waiting on the Lord to make clear to me who I should parent - wish God had email. But I do know that there are many, many children in this world who need someone to love them and I know I need a child, or children, to love.

Mother's Day

2008-05-09T13:52:00.003-04:00

This weekend is Mother's Day. I am so grateful to God for my mother - I really don't think I could have asked for a better one - she is wonderful. But I am a little sad. Sad for myself that once again, it's Mother's Day and I am not yet a mother. I don't understand God's timing - it's been so long. And I'm brokenhearted for Elizabeth and knowing she will be facing her first Mother's Day without having her children to hold. We will hold to Him, knowing He is in control and asking Him to give us strength.

2008-03-25T16:40:00.000-04:00

Life Goes On - Even When You're Not Sure You Want It To

2008-03-25T16:33:00.000-04:00

I find it amazing and difficult to understand, but I'm still waiting. So much has changed in my life since I started the adoption process. Two of the most precious parts of my life are gone and it's still hard to believe that Tanner and Brooklyn won't grow up with my child/children. The second anniversary of my Log In Date for my China adoption has come and gone and I still don't know when I might get a referral - it looks like the winter of 2008 or later. And the Lord has put the possibility of parenting two other children in my life too - I trust He's in control. But it is hard to wait every day not knowing if I will have a daughter from China, or a daughter and a son from Arkansas. If you're reading this, say a prayer for me that I can be more patient and more trusting and that the Lord will heal my family's broken hearts - it's so hard. I miss Tanner and Brooklyn so much and my heart breaks
for the rest of my family too.

The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.
Psalm 34:18, NIV

Children of the World

2007-07-03T14:34:00.000-04:00

In Matthew 19:13-14, little children were brought to Jesus, "… for him to place his hands on them and pray for them." The disciples rebuked the children for interrupting what they considered a serious discussion with their Master. But Jesus chastised the disciples saying,
"Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these." This verse shows the priority Jesus places on children. Not only does He order His disciples to make a way for the children, Jesus makes a distinct parallel between children and heaven.

The pictures above are me with a Bible class of 3 year olds; my friend Abbey who was born in China; Mollie who was born in Guatemala and came home to her mom early in 2007; my friend Hannah and her mom; my friend Keziah who came home eariler this year; me with one of my 17 nieces and nephews; and me with children who live in Jovenes en Camino Children's Home in Honduras.

Chinese Lullaby - Mama Hao

2007-06-07T16:07:00.001-04:00

Chinese Lullaby - Mama Hao
Similar to “Hush Little Baby” in the English-speaking world, this is the lullabye Chinese children learn, "Mamo Hao" or "Mama is the Best (in All the World)".

Mama Hao (Mandarin)

Shi shang zhi you mama hao
You ma de hai zi xiang ge bao.
Tou jin mama de huai bao
Xin fu xiang bu liao.

Shi shang zhi you mama hao
Mei ma de hai zi xiang ge cao
Li kai mama de huai bao
Xin fu na li zhao.

English translation:

Only Mama is the best in all the world
With a mama, you have the most valued treasure.
Jump into mama’s heart and
You have endless happiness.

Only Mama is the best in all the world
Without a mama you are like a piece of grass,
Away from mama's heart,
Where will you find happiness?

Video

2007-04-02T13:44:00.001-04:00

Here is the link to a cute little video put together by Holt Adoption agency of families meeting ther babies for the first time. The woman who wrote & sings the song is an adoptive mom, of a Chinese child, herself. I hope you enjoy it! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4yHTaxn_aDM

2007-03-14T11:29:00.002-04:00

I haven't gotten much done to her room yet, but I've gotten these things for her room. The bedding is from the Ashley Collection at Pottery Barn Kids. I actually ordered the window covering in "apple green". It's from the Company Store.

Anniversary

2007-03-14T11:29:00.001-04:00

Today is the 1 year anniversary of my LID, so my daughter is very much on my mind today. For those of you not so familiar with adoption language, my LID is the date the Chinese government officially recognized that they had my paperwork. When I started this process, the time from LID to referral was 6-7 months. Right now, the wait is more like 17 months and may very well lengthen before I get my referral. I'm planning for a fall/winter referral and then Jill and I will travel to China to pick up my little girl 6-8 weeks after that. I know in my mind that God's timing is perfect, but a year and a half is a very long time to be expecting a child:)
So keep us in your prayers - pray that I may be patient and remember that God is in control and that His timing is perfect. Pray that my daughter is safe and warm, has plenty of food to eat, a comfortable place to sleep and play, and people who love her to care for her until she comes home.

2007-02-28T17:24:00.000-05:00

“Daughters of China”
Tim Chauvin

There’s an unseen tie that binds them
A red thread that will not break.
They are woven in a tapestry
It took five thousand years to make.

Their eyes are wide with wonder
Tiny hands reach out to touch
The faces of the families
Who have wanted them so much.

The daughters of China now fly across the seas,
Off to unseen places and possibilities.
They are gifts to those who cherish them
By those who just could not.
Acts of hope and faith and love
That we never will forget.

They were given up for reasons
That most will never know.
Now they are daughters to the families
Who have come to take them home.

And someday they’ll too be mothers
And have children and a home.
Thread by thread they will tie the knots
To weave new tapestries all their own.

The daughters of China now fly across the seas,
Off to unseen places and possibilities.
They are gifts to those who cherish them
By those who just could not.
Acts of hope and faith and love
That we never will forget.

Adoption Timeline

2007-02-14T09:01:00.002-05:00

Your eyes have seen my unformed substance; and in Your book were all written the days that were ordained for me, when as yet there was not one of them. Psalms 139:16

September 2000 - First contact with A Helping Hand Adoption (AHH) Agency
July 2005 - Official application mailed to AHH
November 2005 - Notified by AHH that I was at the top of the "singles list" and could officially start the process
February 17, 2006 - Dossier to China (DTC) - this is the date my paperwork was mailed to China
March 14, 2006 - Log In Date (LID) - this is the date China officially recognized they had received my paperwork
July 2006 - One year anniversary of my application to AHH.
March 14, 2007 - One year anniversary of LID - the wait continues
April 13, 2007 - Redoing my paperwork officially begins -Refingerprinting done at USCIS
April 19, 2007 - Received revised I171H with amended fingerprint expiration date
May 9, 2007 - Refingerprinted for my homestudy at NBCI, Inc. - the fourth, and hopefully, final fingerprinting for this adoption!!!!!
June 6, 2007 - 4:30pm - Minor meltdown as I wait for my homestudy visit; nearly 2 years, 4 sets of fingerprints, 2 home studies, numerous forms, thousands of dollars and I still have months to wait until I bring my daughter home. It's lovely to have 5 sisters to choose from to call when you have a meltdown! Sisters are a gift from God - it's an incredible blessing to know I have several who can always help me though tough times.
June 6, 2007 - 6:10pm - Home visit for the addendum to my homestudy done
June 29, 2007 - Submitted renewal for I600A. Hopefully for the last time.
July 2007 - Two year anniversary of my application to AHH.
July 20, 2007 - Recieved my updated I171-H - guess I'm good for another 18 months. Please Lord, don't let it take that long.
July 2008 - Three year anniversary of my application to AHH
January 2009 - Third round of updates; fifth set of fingerprints
March 21, 2009 at 12:21pm - I get my referral call. I have a daughter!!
June 1, 2009 - Travel conference call with AHH and the other families I'll be traveling with. Our anticipated date of departure is July 23; our anticipated "Gotcha Day" is July 26th!!!!!

2007-02-12T21:23:00.000-05:00

Me as a toddler - I know she won't look like me, but I can't help but wonder if she'll be like me!

Why China?

2007-02-10T17:04:00.000-05:00

Sonogram

2007-02-10T16:55:00.000-05:00

I never thought I'd have a sonogram that looked like this!