A Trip to Arkansas

We took our first trip - to visit our family in Arkansas. We got to visit with our family - Charis really loved hanging out with her cousins Avery (almost 3), Brayden (3 1/2) and Robby (6). We got to watch Robby and Brayden show their pig Max at the White County Fair. They both did great but the fair was exhausting! Cousin Annie had to carry a sleeping Charis for a while. Avery entertained Charis with her storytelling and letting her play in her room. We visited Elizabeth at work and she let Charis practice her keyboard skills. There were lots of first while we were gone. Charis started crawling - but only backwards so far. She also started clapping - it's so cute! After Aunt Sharen had a coughing spell, Charis learned to "fake" cough. And there's also a new tooth! And another first, she decided one day while we were visiting the Roses to empty her diaper bag. What a big girl!

September

We've had a busy September. We went to a Labor Day cookout at Aunt Jill's house - Charis had fun playing with Grandma and getting to know Mattie the dog.

Fun Shots of My Girl

I was going through some of my pictures and wanted to share a couple of fun shots I have taken. Charis has crazy hair - two cowlicks in back, two in front and it's much longer on the sides than in the back. It was just begging for pigtails so here she is!

Cousin Avery has been very sweet to lend Charis some nice clothes, toys and other necessities. This dress is one Avery lent us and we love it, but we found out that big dresses and carseats don't really mix very well!

Pictures

We had professional pictures taken of Charis (and some with her mom!) last week. The photographer was really sweet but Charis isn't very into performing on demand and wouldn't give up too many big grins. But she got some good shots anyway. We've been home now a little over a month and Charis just turned 7 months old. I know people always say this about babies, but I can't believe how much she's changed already! She's sitting up on her own really well now and has two teeth (sharp little guys too!). She has decided that she wants to put off going to sleep until she can't stand it any longer too - why do babies do that????? We've been loving the beautiful weather and went on a long walk with our friends Terri and Gianna this morning at Hoover Dam. Then Aunt Jane and Cousin Erin babysat while I had to head off to the dentist.

Thanks to everyone for your love and support

My heart is so full tonight. Every day I find out about more people who have been praying for Charis and I. There are so many who have already done so much for us - my dear friends who not only stayed up until the wee hours of the morning to greet us when we came back from China, but also had my living room filled with bottles, clothes and diapers for a 6 month old and food in the fridge for mom! For my family, particularly my sisters and their families, who are so excited to have this new little one to love. For everyone at work who has been so supportive and are working so hard to keep things going in a very stressful work situation. For those who have given us and are planning to give us presents and for all the folks who have generously lent or given us baby items they're not using. Folks at work and my "adoption friends" have already given us showers, a church shower is planned for this coming Sunday, my close friends are planning a somewhat smaller gathering and friends from the Spring Road congregation are also planning to have a celebrations with us. And then I found out today that several families from the McCrory, AR congregation, where I worshipped over 20 years ago, have gifts for Charis. Again, my heart is so full. This little girl who never had a mother, an extended family, a church family or so many friends who love her and are praying for her, has all of those now. A simple thank you seems so insufficient, but thank you.

Catching up

On Sunday, Charis and I will have been a family for one month. In some ways it seems like it's only been a few days - like when there is something wrong and I have no idea what it is - and some days it seems like we've been together for a very long time - like when she gives me that gorgeous grin when we're talking in bed in the morning. She got her first tooth this week. I've known that teeth were coming and she loves me to rub her gums (with a cloth diaper). But on Tuesday, I felt something sharp and sure enough, there it was on the bottom! I think it won't be long before she has a few more too. The biggest accomplishment of the past week has been her ability to wake up in her room and be comfortable and happy there. For the first couple of weeks, she cried every time she was alone in her room. While three weeks seems like a long time, it's all still very new to her. But the past few days, I often hear her playing and talking to the crib toys long before she every lets out a cry to let me know she's ready for me to come rescue her.


We've spent a lot of time at the park with our friends the last couple of weeks. Charis is as likely to fall asleep while we're strolling as she is to check out nature, but it's good either way. Today we went to a local park that has a creek where children regularly play in it. Our friend Anna, who is one and is game for anything, was having a great time playing in the creek so we decided to try it too. I dipped her litte feet in and she LOVED it - she wanted me to keep doing it and keep curling her little toes up in the sand. I think she may give Anna a run for her money. But we also have our good friend Sasha we can hang with when we are feeling a little more mellow - at least until they both can walk:)

Home

For those who may not know, things in China did not exactly work out as I had planned. The day we met Chen Jia Bin (Claire), it was very evident she had multiple medical and developmental problems. She's a beautiful and sweet little girl and Jill and I came to love her dearly in the two and a half days she was with us. But, as a dear friend reminded me, our plan B is often God's plan A all along. After much heartache and consultation with both American and Chinese medical professionals, I knew I could not bring her home. But God's hand was evident to everyone involved when I got a referral for Yong Xiao Shun (Charis) the next day and was able to adopt her the day after. We arrived home on July 31st after a long and grueling trip that included a 14 1/2 hour flight from Shanghai to Newark, NJ. But the verse that keeps playing over and over in my head is "Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen." Ephesians 3:20-21 I would have never even asked to be the mother of a 5 1/2 month old daughter from China, because according to all that I know about Chinese adoptions, that would not be possible. God has been glorified in the recognition of His work in this adoption.




We've been home a week now - what a trip the last three weeks has been. I'm going to post info and pictures about the trip, but haven't had time to put it all down yet. Charis is doing well and has slept through the night the last two nights. We've been to visit grandma (who thinks she's quite special!)and had our first bath at home. We've had our first trip to the pediatrician (and our first blood draw - ouch!). We've had several visitors and Aunt Sharen was so gracious to stay with us the first few days - I am so grateful to have sisters who are so excited about having a new niece. After all, the last nephew was 19 years ago!!! And I'm also grateful to those who have shared their baby items with us - thank you Kristen and Avery, Jackie and Anna, Terri and Gianna, Connie and Hannah and others!

China Here We Come!!!

Since I just learned that my 2 year old niece is now referring to Claire as "China", that title has a double meaning. I can't believe it's finally here - we leave for China early tomorrow morning. I got a phone call today telling me we'd be getting the babies at 3:00pm on Monday, July 20th. Our "Gotcha Day". My friends who are adopted have told me that their "Gotcha Day" is more important to them than their birthdays. I made the mistake of watching "China's Lost Girls" with a friend last night. By the end of the show my heart was racing - and I cried when they got their babies. I can't believe that's me on MONDAY!!! Pray that our trip goes smoothly (and we're not quarantined!) and that the transition goes well for Claire.

4 More Days!

Four more days until I leave for China! There's still a lot to do and Claire won't be coming home to a perfect house - oh well! She'll come home to a place where she's loved and that's what matters. Everyone is so excited, including Grandma!!

China Schedule

We just received our in country schedule for China. Gotcha Day is Monday, July 20th. My heart is so full - I just can't believe it's really happening. I look at her sweet worried face in the photos and I still have a hard time imagining her in my arms. And I can't help but think about how she will be leaving everyone and everything she knows. Please pray for a safe trip for all who are traveling and for a smooth transition for both me and Claire.

Before we meet our babies, we'll go to Tian An Men Square, the Forbidden City and hike on the Great Wall at the Juyongguan section pictured here. After Gotcha Day, we'll have lots of appointments (China Civil Affairs office, medical checkup for the babies, US consulate) but we're also scheduled to visit the Provincial Museum and the Yuelu Ancient Academy Center. A trip to the Guangzhou Zoo is also on the schedule (yes, they have a panda!). Claire, we're coming!!!!

Travel Letter

Wow - I got my travel letter today. Basically a letter from the Chinese government saying that I shouldcome get Claire (Chen Jia Bin)in the next 90 days. Wow - I'm really gonna be a mom.

A Quilt for Claire

My sister Susan has the sweetest family. Her sister-in-laws (whom I have known since I was a teenager) all got together and made Claire a quilt. Not easy since they live in Arizona, Michigan and Ohio! Thank you Alice, Andrea, Mary and Marilyn!! Claire and I will treasure the quilt and your love in the years to come!

Presents for Claire

The shower from my friends at work was so fun! And Claire got lots of nice things! I was really glad two of my sisters (Jane who lives in Ohio and my sister Share who was visiting from Arkansas) along with my Mom were able to come to the shower. The shower was at Joey Chang's, a Chinese resturant, so not only did we have a good time, we had great food too! One special gift was the hand made wall box from my boss, Jo.

Wow - things are happening fast!!!

I just found out today that we have confirmed travel approval and will be leaving July 16th. Only 2 weeks away!! And in 18 days I'll have Claire in my arms!!!

My sweet friends from work had a shower for me at a Chinese resturant last night - it was a lot of fun and Claire got lots of neat gifts!! Thanks to everyone for such a special evening!!

Travel Approval!!!!!!

We just recieved word that we have travel approval!!!! Our agency is requesting our Consulate Date right now. It will be about one week before we hear anything from the US Consulate. The agency must hear from them before we can proceed any further. Once we hear from them we'll start getting our airline tickets!!! New ESTIMATED travel dates are: Depart the USA on July 16 and return to the USA on July 30, 2009.

Birthday Presents

It's so wonderful to know that so many people are so anxious for Claire to come home! Her cousins and friends have already bought her some birthday presents! Thanks everyone for remembering her on her birthday and for keeping her in your prayers!

Visas!!!!!

Our visas came in the mail today!!! It's finally starting to sink in that we're really going to China - and I'm really coming home with my daughter!!!

Claire's 1st Birthday

I'm feeling a little sad that Claire will turn one on Sunday and I won't be with her. I did send a package and pray that she has the items I sent. Happy Birthday sweet baby! It won't be long now!! Today we celebrated her cousin Adam's 26th birthday, so I brought a cake for Claire too. It's already the 21st in China, so it is her birthday where she is. I stopped by Sam's Club to pick up a small cake and there it was, the perfect birthday cake - a ladybug!!! Your family is thinking of you and wishing we were with you sweetie!

While She Waits

A couple who were at the Chen Zhou CWI this past weekend posted on a listserv about their trip. They said "For anyone waiting for their child please know that the staff at the SWI is taking good care of everyone." It's truely comforting to know she's in good hands until she can be with her family.

Thanks Nan-Man!

My boss's sweet little grandson,Nathaniel,decided to share some of the fun toys he has outgrown with Claire! Thanks a bunch Nan-man!!! Grandma had a great time showing me how they all worked. I can't wait until Claire gets home so we can play with all this fun stuff!!!

A Shower!

I'm looking forward to the shower my friends for work are giving me. My sweet boss handmade these great invitations. Now if I can just figure out where to store the presents once I get them home!! The shower's being held at a Chinese resturant - can't wait to see what they have planned!!

The Panic is Setting In!

I'm starting to get a little paniced. So much to do and only 6 weeks left to do it! And I'm praying the swine flu situation won't impact our travel dates. While I'm paniced about all I have to do, I'm also desperate to have my daughter home! I have a shower scheduled for June 30th with the folks from work - should be fun. My "adoption" friends had a travel shower for me several weeks ago - they gave me lots of practial stuff for both Claire and me to take on the trip. And a great diaper backpack to put it all in! It's kind of hard to anticipate what all I might need when she gets home. I do know I have lots of clothes already - picking up bargains for nearly 4 years filled up her closet pretty well and her new friends-to-be Hannah and Anna have been kind enough to share clothes they've outgrown.

Family resemblence

I've been told by my family that my daughter looks like me and that she looks like my great-niece Avery. Anybody buying it?

Travel plans

I just finished a two and a half hour phone call with A Helping Hand talking about the travel. Right now, we have to do our visa applications. And make lots of lists and get tons of things done before there's a toddler living in my house!

From ages past no one has heard, no ear has perceived, no eye has seen any God besides you, who works for those who wait for him. Isaiah 64:4

After much agonizing, I've decided on a name - Claire Jia Ellen Deacon. Jia means beautiful - and she is.

When is she coming home?

I talked to my agency to day and their best guess of when we will travel is that we will leave July 23rd. We'd be there a couple of days and then "Gotcha Day" would be July 26th. We'd travel home on August 5th or 6th. I may be holding my baby in less than two months!!! There will be 6 families traveling together - I'm the only single in the group:) Glad Jill's going with me!

Where is she now?

JiaBin is living in the Chenzhou Social Welfare Institute. Chenzhou SWI is an orphanage located in Hunan, China. It is about a 4 hour drive away from the city of Changsha, Hunan. Chenzhou SWI is actually a residence of not only over a hundred children ages 0-13, but they also have a part in the orphanage for the elderly!

Chenzhou is situated at the juncture of Hunan and Guangdong provinces at the foot of Qitianling Hill of the Nanling Mountain Range. Places of interest, natural scenic spots, ancient relics and buildings make for over 100 tourism spots in the city. The major ones are the Suxian Hill, the Wanhuayan the Dongjiang Lake and the Wugai Mountain Hunting Field.
In the beginning of 2008, Chenzhou was seriously struck by a freezing rain and snow disaster.

The areas of interest in this region include:万华岩（underground cave, translated to Magnificent rocks) 五盖山,Wugai Mountain Hunting Field, 苏仙岭,Suxian Hill and 东江湖,Dongjiang Lake.
苏仙岭,Suxian Hill It is located about 1.5 km east of Chenzhou, covering 15 square km. Beautiful peaks and dense forests give the place the reputation of being "the 18th blessed land in China".
五盖山,Wugai Mountain Hunting Field Situated 30 km away from Chenzhou it has over 8,000 hectares of land and can offer for hunters many kinds of animals which are permitted to be hunted. Hotels and campsites are available. It is the only hunting field in southern China.
东江湖,Dongjiang Lake Located in Zixing, it covers an area of 160 square km and can contain 8.12 billion cubic meters of water, equaling half of the Dongting Lake. Dongjiang Lake is wide and misty, dotted with islets and docks. Around it mountains rise and fall and embrace new small villages, forming a unique picture of mountains and water.

Chenzhou is really pronounced "chin joe". Same thing with Guangzhou. It is not "guang zow" but "guang joe".

More info on my girl

I got her translated medical information today. It looks great to my untrained eye and to the biased eye of my sister the pediatric nurse (who said "just go get that baby!"). I'm waiting to hear back from a developmental pediatrician work works here at ODH. One of the items that stood out to me on the report was the statement that she "would stop crying when being held and talk with her or give her something to eat." Yep, she's my kid:)

Chenzhou SWI

There is a video of the Chenzhou SWI where Chen Jia Bin is living on youtube. It looks like a nice place:)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4X0Xzo2UPr4

She's here!!!!!!!!!!

I got the call at 12:21pm on May 21, 2009 while I was having lunch with my nieces that I'm a MOM!!!!!!!!

Her name is Chen Jia Bin
DOB 6/21/2008 11 months
Length is 66 cm = 25.93 inches
Weight is 7 kg = 15.4 lbs
Medical was done in 3/4/2009
Institutionalized in Chenzhou, CWI of Hunan Province
I can't believe this day has arrived!!!!!!!!

3 Years and Counting

Today is the 3rd anniversary of my LID (log in date - the day China acknowledged my paperwork) for my adoption from China. Three years + is a very long time to be waiting for a child. But today rumors were posted on the internet that next month may be a "big" month - meaning there is a serious chance I'll get my referral in April if the rumor is correct. It's been so long that it's still a little scary to hope it's actually going to happen soon. If the rumor is true - I could very well be a mom before my next birthday!!!

The Matching Room

Since Chinese adoption workers will soon be deciding who you new niece, cousin, or friend is going to be, I thought folks might like to know how they decide which baby goes with which family - here's some info modified from the China Adopt Talk wed site.

How the Matching Room works
First, they review the baby dossiers and make sure there are no issues with them. We are told that they then count up all of the baby dossiers that are eligible for matching that month and then look to see how far this stack will go in the parent dossiers without sending out a partial day, and they pull all of those parent files. That is the likely cut-off date. Sometimes something happens and they don't get this far. Sometimes something happens and they get farther.

Next they match orphanages up with agencies. This orphanage has six babies, this agency has six families. These two orphanages are in the same province and have a total of 12 babies, this agency has 12 families. When they are through with this is when (I believe) some agencies start to get information about the cut-off date. Or at least it is when they used to start getting information.

And then they start matching individual babies to individual families. The next question that comes up is generally how the matchers match families and babies. I’ve heard from several people who have had the opportunity to speak with someone who works in the matching room. The various conversations seem to all agree that they first look for something that stands out: a matching birthday, a baby who looks a lot like a parent, or a baby who likes music and a parent who teaches music. Several matching people have stated they match by bone structure of the baby’s face and the parent’s faces (this is why they need our passport photos, so they can compare our mug shot with the baby’s mug shot). Some have stated that they used Chinese astrology, also. Once they’ve matched the obvious matches they then start to look at things like age of child requested. The age requested is not a priority for them, they feel they are matching families and not filling orders.

Lori's comments: But we all know Who really makes the decisions - and I'm trusting in Him to bring my daughter to me at last. I've met so many families who know their daughter was the perfect match - Jenny insists Abbey is more like her than her biological son and Allison Grace looks so much like Meredith I can't believe it! He knows who are daughters are and I know He'll make sure we're together.

Still Waiting

Well, it actually looks like I might, just possibly, be a mom by the end of the summer. We're quickly coming up on the 3 year anniversary of my Log In Date (LID). The two girls that I got to know at the beginning of this process have moved on to other ways of building their families. Jackie adopted domestically last summer (and has an adorable 7 month old who loves her "aunt" Lori!) and Susan married and is expecting her bio daughter soon (I'm the back-up ride to the hospital). Strangely enough, we may all become mothers in the same year anyway - just 3 different ways! I am getting a little antsy - checking the rumor site often (which I have never done) and trying to think about what it means at work while I'm off for 12+ weeks. I still have not been very open about it at work - a few close friends know and of course, my bosses know. Depending on how far the next referrals go, I may be making an "offical" announcement soon. Soooo much to think about!!!

Holidays 2008

The holiday season is here - and while I celebrate the joy of the season, my heart aches for the children who should be here but who are not. For Tanner and Brooklyn who are celebrating with the One we honor and for my daughter who is half a world away. Tanner and Brookie know how much their family loves and misses them. But my daughter (as Tanner always said "my Chinese cousin") doesn't know yet that there is a huge loving family waiting for her. Lord, please let her know this time next year how much not only her mother, but her grandmother, her aunts, uncles, cousins and those other "aunties and uncles" who can't wait for her arrival love her.

O God of All Children

O God of all the children of Somalia, Sarajevo,
South Africa and South Carolina
Of Albania, Alabama, Bosnia, and Boston,
Of Cracow and Cairo, Chicago and Croatia,
Help us to love and respect and protect them all.

O God of Black and Brown and White and Albino children
and those all mixed together,
Of children who are rich and poor and in between,
Of children who speak English and Spanish and Russian and Hmong
and languages our ears cannot discern,
Help us to love and respect and protect them all.

O God of the child prodigy and the child prostitute,
of the child of rapture and the child of rape,
Of runaway or thrown -away children who struggle
every day without parent or place or friend or future,
Help us to love and respect and protect them all.

O God of children who can walk and talk and hear
and see and sing and dance and jump and
play and of children who wish they could but can't,
Of children who are loved and unloved, wanted and unwanted,
Help us to love and respect and protect them all.

O God of beggar, beaten, abused, neglected,
homeless, AIDS, drug, and hunger-ravaged children,
Of children who are emotionally and physically and mentally fragile,
and of children who rebel and ridicule, torment and taunt,
Help us to love and respect and protect them all.

O God of children of destiny and of despair, of war
and of peace,
Of disfigured, diseased, and dying children,
Of children without hope and of children with hope
to spare and to share,
Help us to love and respect and protect them all.

from
GUIDE MY FEET
Prayers and Meditations on
Loving and Working for Children
by Marian Wright Edelman

1001 Days since LID

It's now been 1001 days since the Chinese government recognized that they had recieved my paperwork for an adoption. And that's not counting the 9 months of waiting for a single's slot and doing paperwork that preceeded my log in date. And because referrals are still so slow in coming, it will likely be several more months before I get my referral. That's a really long time to wait.

I babysat last night for my friend's 3 year old daughter and son who were both born in China. Why does it make the wait harder? Seems like it should make me more sure the wait is worth it. I struggle to remember and believe that His timing is perfect....

Psalm 34:4 - I sought the Lord, and he answered me; he delivered me from all my fears.

Brave and Courageous

Psalms 27:14 tells us to "Wait patiently for the LORD. Be brave and courageous. Yes, wait patiently for the LORD." I'm thinking today of what it means to brave and courageous while I endure this wait that feels as if it may never end. Maybe He's talking about being brave enough to believe that He still wants me to be a mother; and to be courageous to go on even when giving up seems the sensible thing to do.

Still waiting

I counted up how long I've been waiting, realized it's been nearly a thousand days and got really depressed. And that does not include the time from July 2005 when I first submitted an application, from November when I got accepted by my agency (having to wait for a "spot" as a single) and on to March 2006 when my paperwork finally got logged in. I guess I should focus on the fact that there are only 25 log in dates before mine....that may easily be 5-6 more months before a referral, but I surely will bring my daugther home before next summer.

The children in Arkansas have been placed with a married couple who live in Arkansas. The foster family has major concerns about the family they were placed with, but I'm praying that this couple loves parenting those little ones like I would have.

Waiting for my girl

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