To Charis’s birthmother

To Charis’s birth mother,


As Charis’s second birthday approaches, you are on my heart. I know you must be thinking of your daughter. You must wonder where she is and if she is loved and well cared for. I know you miss her. So I would like to thank you for being one of the most courageous women I have never met. You gave life to my child and a daughter to me.

Charis is stunningly beautiful and wildly intelligent. She got that from you.

Every since she became my daughter at five and a half months old, she has had an incredible personality. She’s very curious and on her first doctor visit the doctor even noticed how much she paid attention to detail. She loves her family and friends so much – she sometimes even cries when she doesn’t get to see them as much as she wants. She always wants me to read books to her and she has started pretending to read them to her dolls. She is very brave, sometimes I think too brave when she does dangerous things!  She loves to sing and loves for us to sing song together.  We go to a class for little ones where we sing songs in Chinese.  I want her to love the music from China as much as she does the music here.

No words can completely describe what you have done for me. I’ve always known that God had planned for me to be a mother, but I didn’t know he would use a woman from the other side of the world to give me a daughter. You could have made so many other choices, and you were probably encouraged by others to make those choices, but you loved her enough to carry her for nine months and to make sure she was well cared for after she was born.

I know it was the most difficult decision you have ever made. I have heard that other birth mothers say it is not a decision you make once, but one you have to make every day. Your gift has given me the opportunity to feel the same unconditional love you felt for your baby. I promise you that not only will she always be unconditionally loved by me, but she will also always know the unconditional love of a large family and many close friends. Charis knows how much I appreciate you; we talk about you and pray for you often.

I am so grateful to you for giving me the chance to be a mom. I cannot imagine a greater sacrifice to make or greater blessing to receive. May God bless you always for the selfless sacrifice you made.

Lori

Touching My Heart

My girl is on a mission to touch my heart these days I guess.  The other day she initiated her first "Charis-led" prayer.  After we said our typical good night prayer, she said "Charis pray" and proceeded to say "Dear God (several words I didn't understand) princess (more words) mommy (more words) All done!"  Then tonight as I was rocking her before bedtime and singing her the same song I have sung to her every night since she's been home (I love you, God loves you, and that's the way it's gonna be), I hear this little voice chiming in "I love you and God loves you....".  Well she didn't get all the words right but she got the tune and most of the words.  What a sweetie!!!  Guess all this sweetness is to make up for the roaring into the twos that she's doing:)

Winter 2010

November and December have been kind of wild months for us.  On Nov. 12th we flew to St. Pete Beach, FL to meet up with 2 of the other families in our China travel group.  We had a great long weekend at the beach with the Corless and Roebuck families.  We were really glad Jill went with us!  It was so great to see how well the girls were all doing - we laughed about how the girls are still so much like they were when we first met them.  Thea is still the leader of the pack, ready to boldly go anywhere and to oversee whatever activity may be happening; Emma is the artsy, sensitive girl who also has a wild side (she's the only one brave enough to actually sit in a pirates lap!) and Charis just loves to be with people and is pretty easy going as long as things go her way!  And they all three fit so perfectly in their own families!  What beautiful girls we are blessed with - or as my friend Jackie likes to say "we won the baby lottery!". 

After we left St. Pete Beach, Jill, Charis and I went on to St. Augustine to spend a week at Jill's in-laws Florida home.  We had a great time - Charis especially loved the turtles.  She had her first carousel ride and loved looking for shells at the beach.  But while we were there I had an incident with my eye which I later found out resulted in a detached retina.  The rest of November and most of December I ended up being off work and mostly bed ridden trying to recover from the detached retina.  Finally on Dec. 17th, I was allowed up out of bed and finally back to driving on Dec. 23rd.  Don't know what I would have done without my very supportive family - Jill and Jane and their families took care of both Charis and I for several weeks. But I'm back to work now and hopefully on the mend permanently.  Charis thought it was great fun to live with Aunt Jill and Aunt Jane for a while and I became a big fan of "House Hunters International".

Our second Christmas together was wonderful despite not being able to participate in very few pre-Christmas festivities or shopping.  We did get to have our annual get together with her friends Anna and Sasha.  Charis was a little leary of the Santa, but was very interested in the whole idea of reindeer.  She mostly just loved being with her family and of course loved the presents. 

As the beginning of the new year approaches my mind once again turns to Charis's birth mother.  Two years ago she was 8 months pregnant with my daughter.  I imagine she wonders about her and I hope she somehow knows that Charis is in a family who loves and cares for her very much. 

Ramblings On Adoption

"Adoption is a miracle. I don't mean just that it's amazing, terrific, and a wonderful thing to do. I mean that it is, as the dictionary says, "a surprising and welcome event that is not explicable by natural or scientific laws and is therefore considered to be the work of divine agency."  From Scott Simon's "Baby We Were Meant For Each Other"  Just finished this book and am in the process of reading "Silent Tears" by Kay Bratt.  What two different perspectives on being the mother of this beautiful daughter.  Simon's book celebrates the wonder and joy of adopting a child; Bratt's is giving me a peek into what Charis's life might have been had she not become my daughter.  Both are helpful; both bring out incredibly strong emotions.  And I think of all the other adoptive families who are part of my life - when I started thinking of each of them I was amazed how many I know.  And I wonder so much about where Charis, Anna, Hannah S., Abby, Hannah H., Annie, Keziah, Issac, Justice, Chloe, Sydney, Allison, Olivia, Riley and all the other beautiful children I haven't named would be if they had not been adopted.  And of all their parents - and extended families and friends - who love them so desperately - how much we all would have missed out on if these children were not part of our lives.  And thinking of these children and their families, I wonder again - and count my blessings - about how it is that adoption came to be so commonplace in our culture.  Charis recently went to Bible class while visiting my sister in a small rural Appalachian town.  In her Bible class were two other adopted children - all three born on different continents and all three loved and cherished not only by their parents, but by large extended families.  And again a wonder to me - both of the other children are part of families I have known for many years if not all my life.  God is so good.

Pictures from fall 2010

Legacy of an Adopted Child

Once there were two women who never knew each other.
One you do not remember, the other you call mother.
Two different lives, shaped to make your one...
One became your guiding star, the other became your sun.
The first gave you life and the second taught you to live it.
The first gave you a need for love, and the second was there to give it.
One gave you a nationality, the other gave you a name.
One gave you a seed of talent, the other gave you an aim.
One gave you emotions, the other calmed your fears.
One saw your first sweet smile, the other dried your tears.
One gave you up ... that's all she could do.
The other prayed for a child and God led her straight to you.
And now you ask me, through your fears,
the age old question unanswered throughout the years...
Heredity or environment, which are you the product of?
Neither, my darling, neither.
Just two different kinds of love.

19 months old!

Charis is no longer a baby - she's a full fledged toddler these days.  Running, climbing, sliding, swinging - you name it!  And talking up a storm - I can't believe all the words she knows.  Tonight we read "I Love You Crazy Cakes" and at the end of the book where the mom and baby are snuggling with their eyes closed she said "sad!".  I tried to tell her they were not sad but sleepy but she kept insisting on sad!  It was the first time she really sat and listened to that book - makes me wonder if she has any memory of our Crazy Cakes story.  It really is hard to imagine my life without this perfect and wonderful little girl.  Not only does she light up my life, she brings so much joy to my Mom, my sisters and the rest of my family and friends.  What a blessing she is!!!

Mother's Day

What can I say - after waiting all my life, I finally celebrated Mother's Day as a mother. What an amazing feeling to spend the day with my Mother, my daughter and the rest of my family.

Zoo picture

What can I say - my daughter is cool!

All children come from God. For some the journey home just takes a little longer.

Charis and her Grandma

I just love that my two favorite people in all the world adore each other.  When we go to Mom's house, Charis runs through the house saying "ma-ma" (her word for Grandma).  And she loves to kiss on Mom and cuddle with her.  And Mom loves it too - Charis can get a smile out of her when no one else can. 

Spring is here!

Well, I've been told that the winter pictures no longer cut it and I need to post spring pictures so here they are!!!  Charis is 14 months old now and getting so grown up!  Yesterday as I was leaving her at day care she said "bye ma"!  My baby made a sentence!  We've enjoyed the zoo and park with our friends, had Easter with Aunt Jill, Alex, Dan and another friend and celebrated Sasha's 1st birtday with her.  We also spent some time at a friend's farm in Ross County taking pictures with her spring flowers.

Not a Snow Bunny!

We had a foot of snow over the weekend, so Mommy dressed Charis up in her snowsuit and thought we'd go make a snowman!  She didn't seem to mind be bundled up in the snowsuit or putting on her ladybug boots over the snowsuit.  And it was fine to have Mommy carry you around in the snow.  However, she did NOT want to be put down in the snow!  She was in the snow only long enough for Mommy to snap the picture and recovered almost immediately once Mommy picked her back up!

Charis's 1st Birthday!!!

Charis had two first birthday parties!!!  One at Grandma's and one with her friends.  Both were a blast!!!!

How Love Really Works

Our children are not ours because they share our genes...
they are ours because we have had the audacity to envision them.
That, at the end of the day...or long sleepless night, is how love really works.

--- Unknown

Christmas Pictures

We had Miss Kathy take some photos of Charis for her first Christmas. Just now getting around to posting some!  I'm also including some candid shots from Christmas time.

A Year Ago

As the 6 month anniversary of our Gotcha Day and Charis's first birthday are quickly approaching, I have been thinking so much of Charis's birth mother. Wondering what she was thinking this time last year and wondering how she is feeling now; praying that she somehow might know how loved, safe and happy her little Yong Xiao Shun is now. I know Charis will surely wonder these things too some day. Please Lord, give the the wisdom and the words to say the right things to her when that time comes.

Charis learning to walk

Pictures from Sprint: View Message

Merry Christmas

I am thanking God that my daughter is home for Christmas and thinking of all the little girls in China and all the mommys and daddys everywhere who don't yet have their daughters home with them.

Merry Christmas by Third Day

There's a little girl trembling on a cold December morn
Crying for momma's arms
At an orphanage just outside a little China town
There the forgotten are

But half a world away I hang the stockings by the fire
And dream about the day when I can finally call you mine

It's Christmas time again but you're not home
Your family is here and yet you're somewhere else alone
And so tonight I pray that God will come and hold you in his arms
And tell you from my heart I wish you Merry Christmas

As I hang the tinsel on the tree and watch the twinkling lights
I'm warmed by the fire's glow
Outside the children tumble in a wonderland of white,
Make angels in the snow

But half a world away you try your best to fight the tears
And hope that heaven's angels come to carry you here

It's Christmas time again but you're not home
Your family is here and yet you're somewhere else alone
And so tonight I pray that God will come and hold you in his arms
And tell you from my heart I wish you Merry Christmas

Christmas is a time to celebrate the holy child
And we celebrate his perfect gift of love
He came to earth to give his life
And prepare a place for us
So we could have a home with him above

It's Christmas time again and now you're home
Your family is here so you will never be alone
So tonight before you go to sleep, I'll hold you in my arms
And I'll tell you from my heart, and I'll you from my heart
I wish you Merry Christmas

Today I Kissed an Angel

Today I kissed an angel, I knew it from the start
The first time my angel smiled at me, I gave away my heart
Today I kissed an angel, this angel child of mine
Though not of my creation, my child by God's design
Today I kissed an angel, my heart is dancing wild,
A family by a miracle, blessed by this angel child.
Author Unknown

Wonderful presents

We have had so many wonderful presents and words of love and support since we came home. Several folks have made handmade (and extra special) gifts for Charis - afgans and throws, quilts, personalized items and a sweater and matching hat! We know these were all made with love and we will cherish them for years to come!

Halloween Fun

We made another trip to Arkansas the weekend of Halloween for a reunion with Mommy's college friends from OEGE and King's Men. It was so good to see everyone - how amazing to see these folks that hadn't been together in 25+ years and were still so happy to spend time together.

The Halloween weekend brought lots of fun for Charis too. Since it was also her cousin Avery's 3rd birthday, we got to go to Avery's princess party. Avery got a "castle" as a present from her grandparents, so Avery and Charis had a lot of fun playing in the castle. They had face painting at the party so it was another first for Charis - a pumpkin on the cheek! And what fun is Halloween without dressing up? Of course, the hood part of the ladybug costume was NOT her favorite thing.

Fall 2009

We've been enjoying the beginning of fall in Ohio, although it has come upon us quickly! We stopped by Pumpkinaloza at Lynd's Fruit Farm with our friends Jackie and Anna and hiked at Highbanks Metro Park with our friend Dan. We had a great time hiking for two hours but who knew it would be so exhausting??? Thanks Dan for carrying Charis while we hiked so we didn't have to stick to the stroller friendly paths! While we love the fall, it also means Lori will be returning to work soon. These weeks together have been so precious to us, but we knew it wouldn't last forever. We're looking forward to doing Boo at the Zoo with Anna, Sasha and Hannah in a couple of weeks!

A Trip to Arkansas

We took our first trip - to visit our family in Arkansas. We got to visit with our family - Charis really loved hanging out with her cousins Avery (almost 3), Brayden (3 1/2) and Robby (6). We got to watch Robby and Brayden show their pig Max at the White County Fair. They both did great but the fair was exhausting! Cousin Annie had to carry a sleeping Charis for a while. Avery entertained Charis with her storytelling and letting her play in her room. We visited Elizabeth at work and she let Charis practice her keyboard skills. There were lots of first while we were gone. Charis started crawling - but only backwards so far. She also started clapping - it's so cute! After Aunt Sharen had a coughing spell, Charis learned to "fake" cough. And there's also a new tooth! And another first, she decided one day while we were visiting the Roses to empty her diaper bag. What a big girl!

September

We've had a busy September. We went to a Labor Day cookout at Aunt Jill's house - Charis had fun playing with Grandma and getting to know Mattie the dog.